marathon is okay

i think marathon is fun but i also dont enjoy it. it feels like apex legends but with less players per lobby and more inconveniences, which is fine because i enjoy apex legends but i think i like apex more. marathon is like 18 players on a big map, hero abilities, slightly faster time to kill, but in here we have to bring our own guns and loot instead of finding it on the map. every round you find and kill players so that when're you're done you can do the quests without worrying about dying. you just repeat over and over again, but in apex at least theres more players per map, resulting in more fights and a bit more fun. i dont have to worry as much about managing a backpack either. less downtime between matches too because i dont have to check my stash after every game. i just dont have much incentive to do the quests in marathon either tbh, i dont think the upgrades are all that good except for maybe nucal and the cybernetics faction. everything else just gives you the privilege of buying stuff from the shop. and everything wipes after a season anyway so if i do reach the end of the skill trees i wont have them unlocked for much longer, i just dont see much incentive to grind the quests tbh. game is fun to play for the fights but at that point i just wish i could play TDM in marathon or CTF. and sidenote: why is the evolution of FPS gaming just finding ways to make TDM more inconvenient (TDM in arena shooters -> battle royales -> extraction shooters).

i am your beast review

i am your beast was fun but the story was cringe. the final level was also cringe.

i love good characters

man, i just tried to play a new hero shooter and i just couldnt get into it because i didn't think any of the character designs were interesting. like, i just did not want to play the game anymore because none of the characters spoke to me unfortunately. i dont think i used to be a big character design guy but after playing many more games and falling in love with newer characters, my standards have raised a bit and i now desire some decently designed characters if i want to continue playing stuff now.

game awards 2025

i didnt like expedition 33. i didnt really enjoy the story or the characters. i also generally dont enjoy fantasy settings. i think yakuza like a dragon was a better rpg, and i ended up loving the characters in that game. i think e33 winning best art direction sucks ass.

highguard was revealed, made from ex titanfall/apex legends developers. i thought the shooting and mechanics shown looked interesting, but i thought the character designs looked like ass. I think apex legends has way cooler looking characters, and i really need some good characters to convince me to play any game as you can probably now guess. we'll see how it does when it launches in 2026, but oh man twitter is not liking that shit.

also, i am very happy for south of midnight winning an award!! the games for impact category was really good, i played consume me and wanderstop and all of those games were so good! an amazing category!

create art

i believe creating and consuming art is like the best thing you can do as a human. to take an idea out of your head and make it into something physical, even digital, is something i think everyone should do, and is something i think we all would do if we weren't bogged down by life's chores. even if the art does not critique anything, or is harmless, it is still an expression of one's self, and anything that can remind us of our humanity serves a great purpose.

make something digital!

I think people should make a website or a blog on the internet, almost everybody should if they want to. I think of the internet as a sort of time capsule, like people from future generations could look back on stuff we posted now and be like "Wow, thats what we were talking about back in the 2000s, huh?". but also you yourself could just look at it and be like "wow i was crazy when i posted this stuff years ago". i suppose it doesnt need to be public and on the internet, you could make an offline website or blog yourself, but like i think its fun for other people to see it and engage with it, even strangers. you just need to be careful about what you post on the internet, but it can still be fun!

also, happy halloween!

writing!

whens the last time you wrote an essay? i just saw a youtube video of an author encouraging people to write essays more often, and i realized that i havent really written stuff since i got out of school. like, yeah i can write for a blog, but man theres a real sense of voice when you're researching and writing an essay and trying to make a consise and understandable point with your writing. i kinda miss it, even if i think my essays were pretty plain and passable. perhaps ill give it a go and try and get my writing back into form. or not, i could be blogging instead...

online discussions

i hate leaving comments on social media posts because then people with these strong ass opinions start calling me a dumb ass because i liked something that they hated with their tiny ass hearts. its why i rarely leave comments on posts in the first place, and a great reminder of why i should post on blogs more!

i am so tired

i need a nap

my sleep schedule is so fucked i hope it gets fixed soon.